But is there a difference between all of this and the social networking we get involved with in today’s North American society? I believe there is, and it has to do with motive. David didn’t choose Jonathan as a friend with the intent to have an “in” with King Saul. Esther didn’t choose to be groomed for queen. Certainly the idea of using her position to gain favor for her own people was not in her mind at that point in time.

The Bible speaks often of “finding favor” with others. It also instructs Christians in how to deal preferentially with other Christians. As the recipients of that preferential treatment, some of us gain. And Scripture doesn’t object.

What seems to emerge as an allowable practice for the Christian is a form of networking that is pure in its motive, models the image of our Maker and is void of a hidden agenda. In short, there’s absolutely no room in a New Testament church for the real-estate agent, lawyer, multi-level marketer, consultant or anyone else who joins a congregation simply because he or she needs new clients.

Here are a few social-networking guidelines for your staff – and Christians in general:

• Don’t confuse social networking with programs that allow people to meet others and build personal relationships within the community of the local church. The Church has a major responsibility to be a family and a source of God-driven relationships for its people. We cannot forget that each church is called to be part of the Body of Christ. This means we are and should be dependent on one another.

• Never pursue a relationship simply for the sake of personal or corporate gain. Recently, I spent an evening at a hockey game with two Christian brothers. It’s true that the relationship started because I had a business need and they were capable of filling it. When I got home, though, I told my wife, “I genuinely like these guys and I had a lot of fun.” I’m prepared to spend more time with them, and I’m not looking for any special favors.

• Never allow your networking to put you in a compromising position ethically, morally or spiritually. I like to think that whatever I’m doing as a networking activity, I’m prepared to read about it or see my picture in the national paper the next day.

• Never try to take advantage of a relationship by expecting special deals or favors that will place the other person in jeopardy. What does it profit a person if he or she scores big in a deal (even a deal for a church), but ruins a life?

• Finally, be on the lookout for inappropriate social networking among your congregants. There are people who, after they have recruited all the clients they could from one church, move on to the next. At the same time, I’ve seen people ruin good Christian relationships or shake others’ growing faith because they found out those others were wealthy. Church leaders need to teach against this before it happens.

I told you I didn’t think I was a good networker, and I still believe that. But I do know I need to be better at modeling Christ in my life, and that means building relationships and caring about them with more people – without regard to personal or even Kingdom gain. Then I need to allow God to use those people to accomplish His purpose in and through my life. I cannot question or feel guilty about that. At the same time, I cannot seek to relate for the sake of my own gain or that of my organization. As with most actions of believers, God looks at the heart. If that’s in tune with Him, He’ll take care of the rest. Our staff members need to understand that Christian networking has a much higher goal and better reward for all involved.

Ken Godevenos has served on and/or chaired several church boards. He is a human resources and church consultant, mediator and executive director of SCA International. Call 905.853.6228 or visit www.accordconsulting.com for more information.