I RECENTLY READ AN interesting article about loneliness. The article was directed to pastors and mentioned some of the challenges they face on a daily basis – things like taking care of themselves and avoiding loneliness.

The article made me reflect on two different aspects of loneliness: how it affects the people that come to your church each week, and how it affects you, the leader. Although I’m not an expert in human psychology, I think it’s safe to assume that most people – both believers and seekers – can attend church regularly with little to no human contact, resulting in a lonely churchgoing experience. There is a reason Starbucks has successfully put a location on nearly every street corner in America. I’m usually shocked at their close proximity to one another, but, as one of my architect friends pointed out to me, it’s strategic.

It works because it creates a not-so-lonely place for people to get their coffee. It’s a small place, and it’s easy to exchange smiles with people. It’s not overwhelming, and if you stick around to read the paper or check your e-mail, small talk with other coffee drinkers usually ensues. The small spaces Starbucks creates actually make you converse with other people. You have to say, “Excuse me,” as you reach for the skim milk container across the bar and, “Pardon me – are you using this chair?” as you look for a place to enjoy your java. In a world where so much of our communication is done through our devices rather than our mouths, we crave these small exchanges with strangers to curb that edge of loneliness technology has produced in us.

The “third place” idea – which you’ll find described in this issue – can translate to the Church. Your church can offer the same thing as Starbucks, if it’s designed correctly for your community. Creating an additional place for people to go (besides home and work, the first and second places) not only creates an attractive and usable space for your members, it creates a place for them to meet others and avoid loneliness. Reducing loneliness improves overall health, but it also provides seekers and members a real connection to the church body.

As for you, the church leader, I cannot even begin to imagine how demanding your job is – how you are pulled in so many different directions and probably still feel a sense of loneliness, especially in a time of change at your church. After having some candid conversations with church leaders, we decided to host a pastor burnout roundtable session at the Church Solutions Conference & Expo. The roundtable is being moderated by Victor Erwin and will take place Feb. 13, from 5 p.m. to 6 p.m. Victor will pick the brains of pastor Linn Winters from Cornerstone Christian Fellowship in Chandler, Ariz.; pastor Charles Reynolds from Summer Grove Baptist Church in Shreveport, La.; and Scott Couchenour, a life coach from Serving Strong.

We hope this gives you a chance to network and talk about some of the challenges you face in your role as a church leader. More than that, we hope it gives you a sense of fellowship and community with others who share your difficult job. We look forward to seeing you there!

Take care, 

Katherine Kennedy 
Publisher 
kkennedy@vpico.com