Fifteen years ago, Randy Thomas, executive vice president of Exodus International, was living life as a gay man. “All of my relational, political and social needs were defined by a worldview that fed my appetites and met my needs. I didn’t particularly care for Christians and having grown up in a fatherless home in an abusive environment, I remembered having same-sex attractions at an early age,” says Thomas. “I followed those attractions, and I thought being gay was my only option. I had moved out of the closet only to find myself living in a pigeonhole.”

In the early 1990s, a friend encouraged Thomas to come to the Lord without having all biblical truths figured out about his sexuality. Slowly, Thomas found certain issues (outside of his sexuality) coming to the forefront of his life. In dealing with these, he grew in his relationship and commitment to God.

Now with Exodus International, a group that started in 1976, Thomas works with 200 members and collaborates with several churches to reach this population. Exodus works closely with ministries at Stonegate Fellowship in Midland, Texas; Willow Creek in Chicago; First Baptist Church Orlando; Northland Community Church and Southeast Church in Louisville, Ken. 

In a Q & A, Thomas discusses reaching out to this community.

CS: How do you minister to a person who believes in Christ but cannot deny their same-sex attraction? How do you respect the person’s sexuality while applying biblical standards to their lives?

RT: You minister to them the same way you would minister to anyone struggling with other ongoing temptations. Our culture accepts sexual temptation as something you either have to give in to or strive to ignore. Choosing these extremes will neither help the deeper root problem, or be likely to eliminate the same-sex attraction.

What Exodus has seen, and what I personally have experienced, is that same-sex attraction in today’s context is a very complex mix of needs. There are legitimate needs like identity, relationships, intimacy and personal care.  There are also sinful activities that are explained away as “needs” by the world around us, but in reality, they are lust, idolatry, vanity and pride.

Once I accepted the fact that repentance did not equal immunity against temptation, I tried to meet the legitimate needs in biblically appropriate ways and repent of the sinful expressions of my own heart. Not every person dealing with sexual sin has the same mix of legitimate needs versus sinful behaviors. I have seen thousands of people who, once they address their legitimate God-given needs and come to a healthy understanding of temptation and sin, have their same-sex attractions diminish significantly, if not completely. I myself have seen tremendous change in my own life, even though I am not above temptation and occasionally struggling. The difference today is tremendous in that those temptations do not determine who I am or how I behave.

CS: Many churches are uncomfortable with same-sex relations. How can church leaders set the tone of acceptance in church?

RT: The leadership of any church body must be prepared to deal with this issue. The congregation, elders and pastor need to know that the church has a policy concerning homosexuality. It doesn’t have to be a bylaw or anything similar. However, in this day and age, the church needs to be up-front with regard to this issue so that no one is taken aback if the issue is pressed forward. Instead of simply waiting for a crisis, be prepared and get everyone on the same page. Will your church graciously and humbly serve a gay couple if they come to visit? What would happen if that couple wanted to join? Could they serve your church in leadership? These are tough questions a church, as an organization, needs to have thought-through before a crisis hits. We have a document available for churches looking for a template on this issue. Having established the church’s organizational position on this issue, church members must pray about and seek out opportunities to come alongside hurting individuals who may be gay identified. We want them in our pews and want to demonstrate God’s love to them.

CS: How do you address the biological debate?

RT: To date, there is not a shred of evidence that proves there is a gay gene. While it is a hypothesis, it is still an inadequately tested theory. A friend once told me, “Regardless of whether there is a gay gene or not, Jesus calls us to be born again – to be born of His Spirit.”  I know that 16 years ago I lived as a gay man. Today, I don’t identify as gay and am much more attracted to women than I ever thought possible. My struggle with same-sex attraction has gone from a tsunami of temptations to a random, fleeting thought – easily understood and dealt with. If I have a gay gene, then why have I experienced a life-altering change in my identity and behavior? If I don’t have a gay gene, then why was I exclusively homosexual 16 years ago?